The first WIFE is matrimony, the second company, the third heresy

Meaning & Analysis

A man's first marriage is seen as the fulfillment of the sacred institution of matrimony. His second is for companionship. A third marriage is considered a 'heresy,' a transgression against established religious or social norms.

Insights

The Diminishing Sanctity of Marriage

The proverb charts the perceived degradation of marriage through successive unions. It moves from a sacred, socially-endorsed institution ('matrimony') to a relationship of practical convenience ('company'), and finally to a morally and socially condemned act ('heresy').

Duty vs. Self-Indulgence

This saying serves as a commentary on social expectations. The first marriage fulfills a societal and religious duty. The second addresses a personal need for companionship. The third is cast as a self-indulgent violation of convention, suggesting a person is straying from the proper path.

Ideal versus Compromise

The proverb contrasts the ideal of marriage with the perceived reality of remarriage. 'Matrimony' represents the pure, idealized form. 'Company' and 'heresy' represent progressively more compromised and flawed versions, suggesting that the true purpose of marriage is lost after the first union.

Religious and Social Doctrine

The proverb's use of 'heresy' reflects a historical context where Christian doctrine heavily influenced social norms. While remarriage after a spouse's death was generally accepted, multiple remarriages could be viewed as a form of worldly indulgence or lust, deviating from the spiritual ideal of a singular, lifelong union.

Socioeconomic Function

From a socioeconomic perspective, a first marriage was often a foundational contract for creating heirs and consolidating property ('matrimony'). A second might be for practical support ('company'), but a third could be seen as excessive or even a threat to established lines of inheritance, thus framed as a transgression.

Psychological Framing

The proverb reveals a deep-seated psychological bias, framing a man's marital journey as a descent from sacred duty to personal convenience and finally to moral corruption. It captures a cultural anxiety about the stability of the family and the perceived character of those who remarry multiple times.

Patriarchal Perspective

This saying is explicitly patriarchal, defining wives not as individuals but by their sequential role and value to a man. It contrasts sharply with other proverbs like 'The second wife is best beloved', highlighting conflicting cultural attitudes toward remarriage.

Rhetorical Devices

Climactic Structure

The proverb is built on a climactic tripartite structure, moving from the institutional ('matrimony') to the personal ('company') and culminating in the condemnatory ('heresy'), creating a powerful rhetorical effect of escalating disapproval.

Hyperbole

Calling a third marriage 'heresy' is a potent hyperbole. It uses the language of extreme religious transgression to voice strong social disapproval of multiple remarriages, framing it as a violation of fundamental societal tenets.

Parallelism

The parallel phrasing ('The first... is..., the second..., the third...') creates a memorable, rhythmic cadence that gives the statement an air of irrefutable wisdom and reinforces the sense of a predictable, descending progression.

Symbolism

Each term—matrimony, company, heresy—functions as a powerful symbol, reducing the complex reality of a marriage to a single, defining concept that reflects its perceived social and moral standing.

marriageremarriagesocial-normsreligionpatriarchyheresy
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on August 11, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

(is Heresie)

1659, HOW., Span. Prov., p. 1

(The first wife one takes, is)

1666, TOR., It. Prov. 19, p. 155

Cross References

Original Scan

The first WIFE is matrimony, the second company, the third heresy - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026