He that speaks ill of the MARE will buy her

Meaning & Analysis

A person who publicly criticizes a mare is often the one who intends to purchase it, using the criticism as a negotiation tactic to lower the price.

Insights

Negotiation Strategy

The proverb illustrates a common bargaining tactic where a potential buyer feigns disinterest or finds fault with an item to devalue it in the seller's eyes and secure a lower price.

Masked Desire

It represents the psychological tendency to conceal strong desire or envy for something by criticizing it, either as a social defense mechanism or to mislead competitors.

Deceptive Intent

The proverb serves as a broader commentary on human insincerity, highlighting the gap between a person's stated opinions and their true intentions, particularly in competitive situations.

Reverse Psychology

Criticizing a desired object or person can be a form of reverse psychology, intended to manipulate the seller's perception of value or to dissuade others from pursuing the same goal.

Psychology of Bargaining

The proverb reveals a key psychological insight into negotiation: criticism is often a tool to create leverage. It reflects the human tendency to mask true intentions to gain an advantage, a principle that applies from marketplaces to courtship, as noted in the 1742 Franklin citation.

Economic Realism

Rooted in the agrarian economy where a horse was a vital asset, the proverb reflects the practical, often cynical, realities of commerce. It is a timeless observation on buyer behavior that predates modern economic theory.

Critique of Authenticity

It serves as a social caution against taking criticism at face value. The proverb implies that negative words can paradoxically signal positive interest, urging listeners to analyze the speaker's underlying motives.

Rhetorical Devices

Irony

The central irony lies in the contradiction between the expressed sentiment (disapproval) and the actual intent (acquisition), making the proverb's observation sharp and memorable.

Symbolism

The 'mare' functions as a potent symbol for any object of desire, allowing a specific, rustic image to convey a universal truth about human behavior in transactions.

Predictive Statement

The proverb is framed as a confident prediction ('will buy her'), giving it the weight of an aphorism and making it a powerful tool for interpreting others' behavior.

negotiationdeceptiondesirepsychologyironystrategy
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on September 6, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

But I beleeue, it is as they say, he that dispraiseth the mare carrieth her away.

1599, MINSHEU, Span. Dial., p. 60

Who speaks ill of the Mare buyes her.

1659, HOW., Span. Prov., p. 17

Who speaketh evil of the mare, means to take her away with him.

Ibid., 10, p. 137

For we use to say, Chi biasima, vuol comprare, who finds fault, intends to buy.

*Note, 17, p. 162

He that lacks my Mare, would buy my Mare.

1721, KEL., p. 130

Buyers commonly discommend what they have a Mind to; apply'd when a Man discommends a Maid, whom he would gladly marry, if he could get her.

*Note
1742, FRANKLIN, p. 20

Cross References

Original Scan

He that speaks ill of the MARE will buy her - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

© 2026 TilleyProverbs.com · About

Last updated: January 27, 2026