Meaning & Analysis
Young women (maids) will verbally refuse an offer while simultaneously accepting it through their actions.
Insights
Coquetry and Social Performance
The proverb symbolizes the perceived disconnect between a woman's words and her true intentions, suggesting that her refusal is a form of coyness or social ritual rather than a genuine rejection.
Dissonance of Words and Actions
It serves as a broader commentary on human inconsistency, where stated positions often contradict actual behavior. It implies that actions should be trusted over words as a more reliable indicator of true desire.
Critique of Social Scripts
The proverb reflects a harmful societal script that taught women to be indirect and men to be persistent, framing seduction as a game of overcoming token resistance rather than a process of mutual consent.
Rationalization for Coercion
In its most dangerous interpretation, the proverb acts as a justification for ignoring verbal dissent, implying that a 'no' is merely a formality that can, and should, be disregarded.
Historical Gender Roles
This proverb is a cultural artifact of a patriarchal society where women were expected to perform modesty and suppress direct desire. Its prevalence in 16th and 17th-century literature, including Shakespeare's 'Richard III', illustrates its use as a social and political metaphor for feigned reluctance.
Cultural Bias and Consent
From a modern viewpoint, the proverb is deeply problematic as it perpetuates the dangerous myth that a woman's refusal is not genuine. It normalizes the dismissal of verbal consent, reflecting a historical disregard for female autonomy and clear communication.
Psychology of Coquetry
The proverb captures a psychological tension between social performance and authentic desire. It suggests a learned behavior where individuals, particularly women in historical contexts, conceal their true intentions behind a facade of refusal to adhere to societal expectations of demureness.
Rhetorical Devices
Antithesis
The proverb's power lies in the stark contrast between the phrases 'say nay' (rejection) and 'take it' (acceptance), creating a memorable and ironic statement about human behavior.
Synecdoche
'Maids' are used to represent a broader, stereotyped view of feminine behavior, making a specific group stand in for a generalized and biased assumption about all women.
Parallelism
The proverb's concise, balanced structure ('verb-adverb and verb-pronoun') gives it a rhythmic, aphoristic quality that makes it easy to remember and repeat.
Transcription
Quotations
Your payne is most if she say nay and take it.
We will tak it, perchance, Howbeit that wee say nay.
Say nay and take it.
Ich haue hearde my great Grandsier saye: Maide will saye naye, and take it.
Bee thou a mannerly maid for me, and say nay and take it.
May be likened to the maner of women, who as the common saying is, will say nay and take it.
Yet some say: We maydes wish things, to which we aunswere nay.
Say nay as maids doe.
Say nay and take it.
To say as Physicians do, viz. no, and take it, as relating to their fee, as maids are said to do.
Maids say nay and take.
Like Maids, they say Nay, and take it.
Do as the Maids do, say no and take it.
Shakespeare Citations
And be not easily won to our requests. Play the maid's part: still answer nay, and take it.
Cross References
Annotations
- Spoken when we urge a Thing upon them, who have already refused it.
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.