He that will thrive must ask LEAVE of his wife

Meaning & Analysis

A man who wishes to prosper must seek his wife's permission or approval, particularly in matters affecting household finances or decision-making.

Insights

Domestic Governance

Acknowledges the significant influence that a wife has over the household economy, suggesting that cooperation and mutual consent are essential for prosperity.

Pragmatic Partnership

Emphasizes the practical reality that thriving—financially or socially—requires harmony within the domestic partnership, particularly the alignment of priorities between spouses.

Checks and Balances

Implies that even those in nominal authority (like the husband) must submit to domestic checks, particularly when dealing with a potentially spendthrift or strong-willed partner.

Gender Dynamics in Economic Life

The proverb reveals a deep-rooted historical recognition of women’s unofficial yet potent economic influence within the household, even in eras where legal and social power skewed heavily toward men.

Marriage as Economic Alliance

In premodern households, financial stability often depended on the wife’s frugality and domestic management. Asking her 'leave' becomes symbolic of aligning with the household's true steward.

Subtle Critique of Male Authority

Though couched humorously, the proverb subverts patriarchal norms by recognizing that real power—at least in household economics—often lies with the wife. It gently mocks male pretensions to autonomy.

Cultural Reflection on Frugality

The annotation about extravagant wives underscores a broader cultural anxiety about thrift, debt, and fiscal restraint, with the wife cast as either economic gatekeeper or potential threat to prosperity.

Rhetorical Devices

Irony

Ironically grants the wife, in a patriarchal society, the decisive power in her husband's economic success—undermining expected gender hierarchies with dry humor.

Rhythmic Parallelism

The proverb’s rhythm ('he that will thrive must ask leave') mimics moral instruction, enhancing its aphoristic punch and ease of recollection.

Domestic Imagery

Grounds its wisdom in everyday domestic reality, using the household as a metaphor for broader socio-economic truths.

marriageeconomicsgenderdomesticityauthorityirony
Analyzed with gpt-4o on July 10, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

Fore he that cast hym for to thryve, He must ask off hys wiffe leve.

c.1475, Songs and Carols, 71, p. 87

There is an olde common sayinge, that seldom doth the housbande thryue, withoute the leue of his wyfe.

1523, A. FITZHERBERT, Husb., p. 93
1562, HEY., Dial., I xi, p. 28

A man cannot thryse except his wyffe let him.

a.1598, FERG., MS, no. 106
1611, DAV., Prov., no. 337

(shriue).

1616, DR., no. 2394

A man must aske his wife if he shall thrive.

1639, CL., p. 328

A man may thrive, if he have his wifes good wil.

1642, D. ROGERS, Matr. Honor, xiv, p. 302

[As in a.1598 Ferg.]

1668, R.B., p. 8

A man must ask his wife leave to thrive.

1670, RAY, p. 49

A Man that would thrive, must ask his Wife's Leave.

1721, KEL., p. 15

Annotations

  1. If a Man have an extravagant Wife, he cannot thrive, unless his Funds were inexhaustible.

Original Scan

He that will thrive must ask LEAVE of his wife - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026