WOO, wed, and bed (wear) her

Meaning & Analysis

The proverb outlines a three-step process for a man to acquire a wife: first, he must court ('woo') her; second, he must legally marry ('wed') her; and finally, he must consummate the marriage ('bed') or possess her as a prize ('wear').

Insights

Formula for Conquest

The proverb functions as a formula for patriarchal conquest, reducing a woman to an object to be won and possessed. The sequence implies a transactional process where courtship is a means to a final goal of ownership and sexual consummation.

Objectification and Possession

It metaphorically represents the reduction of a complex human relationship to a series of goal-oriented actions. The woman is depicted as a passive prize, erasing her subjectivity and agency in the courtship and marriage process.

Male Agency and Female Passivity

The phrase underscores a social structure where male action is the driving force in relationships. The verbs are all active and performed by an implicit male subject, while the woman ('her') is the passive recipient, reflecting a deeply ingrained gender hierarchy.

Marriage as Social Display

The inclusion of 'wear' in the proverb is historically significant, framing a wife as a status symbol or an ornamental possession, much like fine clothing or a jewel. This reflects the patriarchal values of the Elizabethan and Jacobean eras, where a man's social standing was enhanced by the wife he 'wore', linking marriage directly to the acquisition and display of property.

Literary and Dramatic Trope

Prominently featured in works by Shakespeare, Jonson, and other Renaissance playwrights, this proverb encapsulates a transactional and cynical view of courtship common in the literature of the period. It often serves as a shorthand for a pragmatic, rather than romantic, approach to marriage, emphasizing conquest and consummation as the primary goals.

Psychology of Conquest

The proverb reveals a psychological framework of male entitlement and objectification. The progression from 'woo' to 'bed' is presented as a natural, almost inevitable sequence, minimizing the woman's agency and reducing the complex process of relationship-building to a formula for sexual and social conquest.

Rhetorical Devices

Alliteration

The repetition of the 'w' sound in 'woo, wed, and wear' creates a memorable, rhythmic, and forceful cadence that reinforces the sense of an inevitable and smooth progression of actions.

Tricolon / Asyndeton

The proverb is structured as a tricolon (a series of three parallel items). This, combined with the lack of conjunctions (asyndeton), creates a swift, commanding, and prescriptive tone.

Metaphor

The use of the verb 'wear' is a powerful metaphor that equates a woman with a piece of property or an article of clothing that can be won and displayed to signify status.

marriageobjectificationpatriarchyconquestpossessiongender
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on August 16, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

And if then shee looke as fayre as before, wooe hir, win hir, and weare hir.

1580, LYLY, Euph. and His Eng., p. 82

Woe her, wed her, bedde her, an vse her as you list.

1585, MUNDAY, Fidele and Fort., V i, s. GIV

Woo them and win them, win them and wear them too.

1590, R. WILSON, Three Lords and Three Ladies Lond., s. C4

So may I see the Maid, woo, wed, I and bed her to.

1594, Knack to Know Knave, s. C4

Wed her, and bed her, and when that is done, Then say to Iaques, shall I be your sonne?

1609, JONSON, Case Is Altered, V i 19

They must not stay so long, For whiles they are a learning Languages, My English Youths, both wed, and bed them too.

1616, HAUGHTON, Eng. for My Money, s. B1

I may Both wed, bed, and boord her.

1605, I Jeronimo, II ii 19

If you have woo'd and won, then, brother, wear him.

1607, CHAPMAN, Bussy D'Amb., I ii 70

She is a saint indeed; Zounds to her, court her, win her, weare her, wed her, and bed her too.

1607, T. HEYWOOD, Fair Maid Exch., p. 54

Ile not compell her heart, wooe, win, and wed her.

1633, W. ROWLEY, All's Lost by Lust, IV i 184

He wedded her, and bedded her, although his Master's Daughter.

c.1669, True Lover's Happiness, I. 75 in Roxb. Bal., VI 118

Shakespeare Citations

Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France? —And win them too!

LLL, IV.iii

That would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and bed her.

Shr, I.i

I have wedded her, not bedded her; and sworn to make the “not” eternal.

AWW, III.ii

Cross References

Original Scan

WOO, wed, and bed (wear) her - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026