The good WIFE of a willful man has many a woeful day

Meaning & Analysis

A virtuous and patient wife who is married to a stubborn or obstinate man will experience many days of sadness and distress.

Insights

The Tyranny of Stubbornness

The proverb symbolizes the inevitable suffering that arises in any relationship characterized by a significant power imbalance. The 'good wife' represents any party who is compliant or conciliatory, while the 'willful man' stands for an unyielding, dominant force, illustrating that such dynamics inevitably lead to misery for the less powerful party.

The Cost of Virtue

It explores the paradox where prescribed virtues, such as patience and obedience, become sources of pain. The proverb suggests that being 'good' in the face of another's unreasonableness is not rewarded with peace but with sorrow, questioning the practical value of passive goodness against active willfulness.

Historical Gender Dynamics

This proverb offers a window into historical gender roles, where a 'good wife' was often defined by her patience and submissiveness. It serves as a piece of folk wisdom that acknowledges the emotional cost of such a role, particularly when paired with a domineering or unreasonable husband, highlighting the silent suffering that could exist within the confines of a patriarchal marriage structure.

Psychological Warning

The proverb functions as a timeless psychological warning about relationship dynamics. It cautions that accommodating behavior ('good wife') when faced with intractable stubbornness ('willful man') does not lead to harmony but to chronic unhappiness ('woeful day'). It speaks to the destructive nature of unchecked egotism in any close partnership.

Critique of Passive Virtue

Beyond marriage, the proverb critiques the social ideal of passive virtue. It implies that being 'good' in the sense of being endlessly yielding is not a sustainable or healthy strategy in the face of another's overpowering will. It subtly suggests that such 'goodness' can be a direct path to personal suffering.

Rhetorical Devices

Alliteration

The prominent repetition of the 'w' sound in 'Wife', 'willful', and 'woeful' creates a memorable, rhythmic link between the key elements, musically reinforcing the causal relationship between the wife's situation, the husband's character, and her resulting sorrow.

Juxtaposition

The proverb sets up a stark contrast between the 'good Wife' and the 'willful man'. This juxtaposition of positive virtue against negative intransigence effectively highlights the inherent conflict and underscores the tragic, inevitable outcome.

Litotes (Understatement)

The phrase 'many a woeful day' is a form of understatement that implies a continuous, unending state of sorrow rather than isolated incidents. This rhetorical choice emphasizes the chronic and pervasive nature of the wife's suffering.

marriagegenderstubbornnesssufferingpowerpsychology
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on August 11, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1611, COT., s.v. Femme
1659, N.R., p. 109

Original Scan

The good WIFE of a willful man has many a woeful day - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026