Be a FRIEND to thyself and others will be so too

Meaning & Analysis

Encourages self-respect and self-care, implying that treating oneself kindly and valuing oneself invites similar treatment from others.

Insights

Self-Regard Breeds Regard

Suggests that the way one values and treats oneself sets the tone for how others perceive and treat them; self-friendship becomes the model for external relationships.

Foundation of Social Esteem

Imparts the idea that healthy self-esteem and self-compassion are prerequisites for attracting genuine friendship and respect from others.

Historical Symbolism

Echoing Stoic and Renaissance wisdom, the proverb posits that self-worth is the basis of all external worth. It resonates with classical teachings that one must cultivate inner virtue and self-love to earn social esteem.

Cultural and Literary Resonance

This theme recurs in literature and philosophy—from the adage 'As thou of thine own self doest deeme, so other men will thee esteeme' to the writings of Montaigne and Emerson, all advocating self-respect as the wellspring of social regard.

Psychological Dimensions

Anticipates modern psychological insights: self-acceptance and positive self-regard foster confidence, which in turn attracts respect and kindness from others, shaping social realities through internal attitudes.

Rhetorical Devices

Imperative Mood

Begins with a direct command ('Be a FRIEND...'), giving the advice immediacy and universality.

Conditional Structure

Links personal action with social consequence ('...and others will be so too'), underlining the cause-and-effect relationship.

Parallelism

Mirrors 'thyself' with 'others,' reinforcing the reciprocity between self-treatment and the treatment one receives.

self-esteemfriendshippsychologyrespectvirtueesteem
Analyzed with gpt-4.1 on July 12, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

As thou of thine owne selfe doest deeme, so other men will thee esteeme.

1611, COT., s.v. Valoir
1732, FUL., no. 847

Original Scan

Be a FRIEND to thyself and others will be so too - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026