Make not thy FRIEND too cheap to thee nor thyself too dear to him

Meaning & Analysis

Do not take your friend for granted or undervalue them, nor should you overvalue yourself or expect excessive esteem from your friend.

Insights

Balance in Relationships

The proverb urges the cultivation of mutual respect and balance in friendship—neither neglecting a friend’s worth nor becoming self-important or entitled in the relationship.

Reciprocity and Moderation

It metaphorically warns against extremes: both the danger of undervaluing others (which leads to neglect and resentment) and overvaluing oneself (which breeds arrogance and imbalance).

Historical Symbolism

The language of 'cheap' and 'dear' draws from economic metaphors for value, a common mode in early modern proverbs. Valuing friends correctly was seen as essential for sustaining lasting bonds, echoing the wisdom of writers like Ray and Shakespeare.

Cultural Resonance

Across many cultures, proverbs stress the need for proportionality in relationships. The saying is related to warnings against overstaying one’s welcome, recognizing that too much familiarity or expectation can strain or erode friendship.

Psychological Dimensions

The proverb acknowledges psychological realities—how humans may devalue what is easily available, or sabotage relationships by being overly self-focused. It subtly prescribes humility and appreciation as keys to healthy connections.

Rhetorical Devices

Antithesis

The proverb’s impact is heightened by the opposing terms 'cheap' and 'dear,' expressing the necessity for equilibrium in friendship.

Parallelism

The mirrored structure of the two clauses makes the message memorable and rhetorically effective.

Metaphor

Using the economic language of value for social and emotional bonds adds resonance and universality to the lesson.

friendshipbalancerespectmoderationreciprocityvalue
Analyzed with gpt-4.1 on July 12, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1659, HOW., Eng. Prov., p. 18

(nor thy self to thy friend).

1670, RAY, p. 10

Shakespeare Citations

This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby. —I have been dear to him, lad—some two thousand strong, or so.

TN, III.ii

Cross References

Original Scan

Make not thy FRIEND too cheap to thee nor thyself too dear to him - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026