NEWS, news, the skin of your ass will make a new pair of shoes

Meaning & Analysis

This coarse, mocking expression treats the cry of 'news' as trivial or foolish, suggesting that what the speaker calls news is so worthless that the only useful result would be to make shoes from their hide.

Insights

Mockery of Sensationalism

The proverb ridicules exaggerated or self-important announcements, especially when the 'news' offered is banal, false, or irrelevant, turning the spotlight on the speaker’s foolishness rather than the substance of the message.

Value from Worthlessness

Paradoxically suggests that even the most foolish people—or their proclamations—might be repurposed into something useful, albeit in a violent or dehumanizing way, revealing a cynical view of social utility.

Anti-Gossip Sentiment

Dismisses idle talk masquerading as news, emphasizing disdain for gossip or boastful storytelling by implying that physical punishment—or mockery—is a more appropriate response than attention.

Authority and Contempt

Reveals a power dynamic in which the speaker derides another’s attempt to claim narrative authority, undercutting them with brutal humor and asserting dominance through verbal degradation.

Carnivalesque Ridicule

The grotesque humor and bodily imagery draw from carnivalesque traditions in which social order is inverted and vulgarity is weaponized to deflate pretension, mocking both the speaker of news and the very concept of 'importance'.

Historical Distrust of Informers

Reflects a cultural suspicion toward those who loudly declare news or secrets, associating them with tattlers, opportunists, or deceivers—a theme prevalent in early modern societies where rumor was both powerful and dangerous.

Embodied Satire

By invoking the literal skin of someone’s posterior, the proverb uses the body as a site of satire, transforming speech into an occasion for imagined physical transformation and punishment.

Class Inflection and Coarseness

The vulgar phrasing and emphasis on bodily punishment suggest a working-class or street-level idiom, reflecting populist cynicism toward proclamations of 'news' by self-important individuals.

Rhetorical Devices

Grotesque Imagery

The graphic suggestion of making shoes from a person’s hide creates a visceral and absurdly violent image that amplifies the proverb’s derision and dark humor.

Repetition

The doubled cry of 'news, news' mimics the urgent tone of town criers or gossipers, heightening the irony and mockery by setting up a fall from excitement to absurdity.

Sarcasm

The entire construction operates as a biting sarcastic retort, where the speaker pretends to value the 'news' while actually demeaning the source of it.

sarcasmmockerygossipgrotesquesensationalismvulgarity
Analyzed with gpt-4o on July 10, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1659, HOW., Eng. Prov., p. 11.

Original Scan

NEWS, news, the skin of your ass will make a new pair of shoes - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026