Better be ENVIED than pitied

Meaning & Analysis

It is preferable to be the object of someone's envy, which is typically directed at success and prosperity, than to be the object of someone's pity, which is a response to misery and misfortune.

Insights

Success vs. Failure

The proverb frames a stark choice between the outcomes of success and failure. Envy is presented as an unavoidable byproduct of achievement and high status, while pity is the consequence of downfall and weakness. It argues that the former state is unequivocally superior.

Power and Vulnerability

To be envied is to be in a position of perceived strength, possession, or advantage. To be pitied is to be seen as weak, lacking, or victimized. The proverb thus champions a state of power and agency, even if it attracts negative attention.

Pragmatic Worldview

It serves as a pragmatic, almost cynical, piece of advice on navigating social reality. It suggests one should pursue success and accept the social cost of envy, rather than courting sympathy through failure, as sympathy offers no tangible advantage.

Classical and Renaissance Values

Originating in classical antiquity, as evidenced by Erasmus's citation, the proverb reflects a worldview where public status and honor are paramount. To be pitied was to lose face and be seen as wretched, a fate considered worse than attracting the resentment of the less successful.

Cultural Universality

The proverb's presence in multiple languages, noted as early as 1670, highlights a near-universal human understanding of social hierarchies. It articulates a fundamental preference for the burdens of success over the afflictions of misfortune.

Psychology of Status

The proverb exposes a deep-seated fear of vulnerability and a corresponding desire for agency and status. Pity often implies a power imbalance, making the pitied person feel diminished. In contrast, being envied, while socially uncomfortable, serves as an affirmation of one's success and power.

Literary and Philosophical Context

Its use by authors like Marlowe and Jonson places it within a context of ambition and pragmatism. It suggests a Machiavelian acceptance that success will inevitably attract resentment, and that this is a small and acceptable price for avoiding the powerlessness of misfortune.

Rhetorical Devices

Antithesis

The proverb is built on the direct and forceful contrast between two opposing states, 'envied' and 'pitied', which represent the broader concepts of success and failure. This creates a memorable and impactful binary choice.

Parallelism

The concise, balanced structure ('Better be X than Y') is a classic aphoristic form that makes the statement easy to remember and quote, enhancing its proverbial quality.

Metonymy

The words 'envied' and 'pitied' function as metonyms, where the emotional response stands in for the entire condition that elicits it (i.e., envy for success, pity for misfortune).

envypitysuccessfailurestatusambitionpragmatism
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on July 11, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

Praestat invidiosum esse quam miserabilem.

— Erasmus, Adagia 1044B
1546, HEY., I xi, s. D2V.

A common saying better is enuy then rueth.

c.1565, W. WAGER, Enough Good as Feast, s. A3

(Better to bee).

1584, LODGE, Alarm agst. Usurers, p. 28

[c1589] Let me be envied and not pitied.

1633, MARLOWE, Few Malta Prol., l. 27
a.1598, FERG., MS, no. 262
1611, GRUT., no. 53
1614, CAM., p. 304

(It is better to be).

1616, DR., no. 587

[As in 1616 Dr.].

1616, WITHALS, p. 577

Men say, and truly, that they better be Which be envyed then pittied.

a.1633, DONNE, Poems, Let. to Mr. T.W. I. 9, p. 180

'Tis better being envyed then pityed.

1639, CL., p. 177

So much virtue should not be envi'd. —Better be so, then pittied.

1640, JONSON, Sad Shepherd, I v III
1659, HOW., Eng. Prov., p. 7

Be rather envied, then pittied.

1659, HOW., It. Prov., p. 8

Envy is better then pity.

1659, HOW., Span. Prov., p. 6

(One should chuse rather to be).

1666, TOR., It. Prov., note 133, p. 164
1668, R.B., p. 14

*This is a saying in most languages.

1670, RAY, p. 86

*Happiness provokes the one, and Calamity the other.

1721, KEL., p. 74

Better be spighted than pitied.

1732, FUL., no. 877

Cross References

  • DÜR., I, no. 178
  • St., no. 204.

Original Scan

Better be ENVIED than pitied - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs. Better be ENVIED than pitied - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs. (continuation)
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026