WIVES must be had, be they good or bad

Meaning & Analysis

It is obligatory for a man to take a wife, irrespective of whether she proves to be a good or a bad partner. The act of marrying is presented as a non-negotiable requirement.

Insights

Inescapable Social Duty

The proverb portrays marriage not as a personal choice but as an inescapable social duty. It reflects a societal structure where a man's standing and progression are contingent upon being married, making it a required rite of passage.

Acceptance of Imperfection

It implies that perfection in a partner is impossible and that all relationships involve compromise. The 'good or bad' dichotomy suggests one must accept the inherent risks and imperfections of a spouse as an unavoidable aspect of life.

A Necessary Evil

Echoing the sentiment of the related proverb 'Women are necessary evils', this phrase suggests that while wives are essential for domestic life, procreation, and social order, they are also perceived as a potential source of trouble or difficulty. Marriage is thus a required, albeit potentially burdensome, institution.

Patriarchal Necessity

This proverb is framed entirely from a male perspective, reflecting a patriarchal worldview where marriage is a social and economic necessity for a man to establish a household and secure his lineage, regardless of personal compatibility.

Cultural Misogyny

The phrase 'good or bad' reveals a deep-seated cultural misogyny, reducing a woman’s complex identity to a simplistic binary. The cross-reference to 'Women are necessary evils' reinforces this view of women as both essential and inherently problematic.

Psychology of Resignation

The proverb serves as a psychological coping mechanism, framing marriage as an unavoidable fate. This sense of resignation mitigates the anxiety of choosing a partner by suggesting the outcome is largely a matter of chance, thus absolving the individual from the burden of making a 'perfect' choice.

Rhetorical Devices

Antithesis

The stark contrast between 'good' and 'bad' creates a powerful antithesis that covers all possibilities, emphasizing the unconditional nature of the imperative to marry.

Authoritative Tone

The forceful, commanding tone of 'must be had' presents the idea not as advice but as an undeniable rule of life, enhancing its rhetorical weight.

Parallelism

The balanced, rhythmic structure of 'be they good or bad' makes the proverb memorable and lends it an air of traditional wisdom.

marriagenecessitypatriarchyfatalismmisogynysocial-obligation
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on August 11, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1639, CL., s.v. Uxor, p. 328
1670, RAY, p. 49

(whether good or bad)

1687, MIEGE, s.v. Whether
1732, FUL., no. 6267

Cross References

Original Scan

WIVES must be had, be they good or bad - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026