Put another MAN's child in your bosom and he'll creep out at your elbow (sleeve)

Meaning & Analysis

If you hold someone else's child close to your chest for comfort and care, they will squirm away and escape through the sleeve of your garment, physically rejecting the embrace.

Insights

Ingratitude and Betrayal

The proverb is a stark warning about ingratitude. It suggests that kindness, love, or generosity ('put in your bosom') shown to an outsider ('another man's child') will ultimately be met with betrayal or abandonment ('creep out at your elbow').

Nature over Nurture

It strongly argues for the dominance of 'nature' (blood ties) over 'nurture' (care and upbringing). No amount of affection can change a person's fundamental loyalties or inherent disposition, which are tied to their origins.

The Untrustworthy Outsider

The proverb serves as a cynical commentary on the futility of trying to assimilate or earn the loyalty of someone from a different background or allegiance. Their inherent 'otherness' will eventually lead them to forsake their benefactor.

Primacy of Bloodlines

The proverb reflects a worldview where blood ties are paramount, likely stemming from historical contexts where kinship determined inheritance, loyalty, and social standing. It serves as a cautionary tale against investing emotionally in those outside one's immediate lineage, framing such an act as naive and bound to end in disappointment.

Psychology of Mistrust

Psychologically, the proverb taps into a deep-seated fear of wasted affection and betrayal. It highlights an anxiety that nurture cannot overcome an individual's inherent 'nature' or external loyalties, revealing a cynical perspective on the limits of altruism and the trustworthiness of outsiders.

Cuckoo in the Nest Trope

The imagery of a child 'creeping out' of a sleeve evokes the 'cuckoo in the nest' trope, a powerful and recurring theme in folklore and literature where an outsider usurps resources and affection meant for the natural offspring, ultimately proving treacherous.

Rhetorical Devices

Visceral Imagery

The powerful physical imagery of an intimate embrace ('bosom') being escaped via a peripheral exit ('elbow' or 'sleeve') creates a memorable and visceral picture of intimacy rejected.

Metaphor

The proverb uses the specific act of fostering a child as a metaphor for any situation involving misplaced trust in an outsider, whether in family, community, or politics.

Antithesis

It creates a sharp contrast between the act of loving inclusion ('put in your bosom') and the act of stealthy rejection ('creep out'), effectively highlighting the theme of betrayal.

ingratitudebetrayalkinshipnaturenurturesuspicionoutsider
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on September 2, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

*That is, cherish or love him, he'll never be naturally affected toward you.

1670, RAY, p. 52

(Sleeve).

1721, KEL., p. 279

(Sleeves).

1732, FUL., no. 3982

Original Scan

Put another MAN's child in your bosom and he'll creep out at your elbow (sleeve) - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026