Meaning & Analysis
On a literal level, the expression means that a person is physically elusive or constantly on the move, making it impossible to determine their location or to meet with them.
Insights
Inconsistency and Unpredictability
The proverb describes someone who is intellectually or emotionally inconsistent. Their opinions, moods, and arguments are so changeable and contradictory that it is impossible to grasp their true position or predict their behavior.
Evasiveness and Deception
It characterizes a person who is deliberately evasive and slippery. They avoid commitment, refuse to give straight answers, and cannot be held accountable, making them impossible to deal with in any straightforward manner.
Emotional Volatility
The saying can refer to the challenge of dealing with a volatile or mercurial personality. Their emotional state shifts so rapidly that others do not know how to approach them or what to expect, creating a sense of instability.
Psychological Frustration
The proverb offers a sharp psychological diagnosis of an individual who destabilizes social interactions. It reflects the innate human need for predictability in others; when someone is intellectually or emotionally elusive, they generate frustration and mistrust, making stable relationships impossible.
Critique of Unreliability
This expression captures the essence of social unreliability. In contexts where reputation and steadfastness are critical for trust—from historical court politics to modern business negotiations—being a person one 'cannot have' is a severe indictment of their character and integrity.
Rhetorical Dismissal
The phrase functions as a conversational tool for dismissing someone as intellectually or morally inconsistent. It's a way of signaling that the person is not engaging in good faith and that further attempts to pin them down to a consistent position are futile.
Rhetorical Devices
Idiomatic Metaphor
The core of the proverb is the idiomatic phrase 'where to have him,' which cleverly shifts a physical concept (location) to a metaphorical one (understanding or accountability), creating a concise and powerful image of elusiveness.
Ambiguity
The proverb's strength lies in its ambiguity. 'To have' can mean to understand, to grasp an argument, to hold accountable, or to physically locate. This flexibility allows it to apply to a wide range of frustrating social situations.
Understatement
Instead of directly labeling the person as deceptive or unreliable, the proverb uses understatement to describe the effect they have on others. This subtle critique often carries more weight than a direct accusation.
Transcription
Quotations
Cross References
Related Proverbs
Original Scan

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