He that has a WIFE has strife (care)

Meaning & Analysis

The act of getting married inevitably brings conflict, arguments, and worries into a man's life. The term 'strife' points to discord, while 'care' refers to the burdens and anxieties of responsibility.

Insights

Marriage as a Loss of Freedom

Marriage is presented as a transaction where personal peace and autonomy are exchanged for domestic conflict and obligation. The 'wife' symbolizes the commitment that ends a man's solitary freedom, and 'strife' is the unavoidable consequence.

Commitment and Complication

The proverb suggests that any deep human connection or commitment is inherently fraught with difficulty. 'Wife' can be seen as a metaphor for any significant, binding life choice that, while potentially rewarding, is guaranteed to introduce complexity and struggle.

Responsibility as a Burden

It reflects the idea that responsibility is a heavy burden. 'Care' is not just affection but the weight of financial, emotional, and social duties that can feel like a constant source of trouble or 'strife'.

Patriarchal Caution

This proverb reflects a patriarchal worldview, framing marriage from a male perspective as an undertaking that inevitably introduces conflict ('strife') and burdensome responsibility ('care'). It serves as a cynical piece of folk wisdom, cautioning men against the perceived loss of freedom and peace that comes with matrimony.

Psychological Ambivalence

The proverb speaks to the psychological tension between the desire for companionship and the fear of entanglement. 'Strife' represents not only external conflict but also the internal anxiety and worry that arise from shared responsibilities and the compromises inherent in any close relationship.

Universal Truth of Partnership

While originating from a cynical viewpoint, the proverb contains a universal truth about committed relationships. All significant partnerships, not just marriage, require navigating disagreements and sharing burdens. The 'strife' and 'care' are integral parts of building a life with another person.

Rhetorical Devices

Rhyme

The simple, memorable rhyme between 'wife' and 'strife' makes the proverb catchy and impactful, ensuring its persistence in oral tradition.

Parallelism

The proverb uses a parallel structure ('has a WIFE' / 'has strife') to create a powerful cause-and-effect statement, framing strife as the direct and inescapable result of having a wife.

Connotation

The word 'strife' is a powerful choice, using negative connotation to frame marital disagreement not as simple variance but as serious, wearing conflict and discord.

marriageconflictresponsibilitycynicismpatriarchydomesticity
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on August 11, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

Thear is another common proverbe. who hathe no controversye hathe no wyffe.

1559, BERCHER, Nobility Women, l. 21, p. 127

Wherto maye be added this saying: Haste thou taken one fayre? to thine owne care.

1581, PETTIE, Civ. Conv., III, II 10

He that a wife hath strife hath.

1611, COT., Noise, s.v. Noise

Without wife, without strife.

1659, HOW., Br. Prov., p. 31

Who takes a wife, takes care.

1659, HOW., It. Prov., p. 5

(has a Master).

1721, KEL., p. 138

He that takes a wife takes care.

1736, FRANKLIN, p. 10

Cross References

Original Scan

He that has a WIFE has strife (care) - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026