Meaning & Analysis
Lending money or valuables to a friend often results in the loss of both the loaned item and the friendship itself.
Insights
Fragility of Friendship
Reveals that introducing financial transactions into friendships exposes the relationship to strain and potential breakdown, suggesting that some bonds are too delicate to withstand material entanglements.
Perils of Generosity
Warns that acts of generosity, especially lending, can backfire, leaving the lender deprived not only of their property but also of emotional connection, respect, or trust.
Moral Caution
Serves as a cautionary principle, advising prudence and the maintenance of boundaries, as well-meaning trust can lead to unintended emotional and material loss.
Historical Symbolism
Throughout history, lending among friends has been viewed with suspicion, recognized as a source of discord and social rupture. The proverb encapsulates widespread experiences found in sources from Bacon to Shakespeare, reflecting persistent anxieties about mixing finance with friendship.
Shakespearean Endorsement
Shakespeare echoes the proverb’s wisdom in 'Hamlet': 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend,' reinforcing the timelessness and literary authority of the warning.
Universal Resonance
Similar warnings exist across cultures, such as 'Lend your Money, and lose your Friend,' illustrating the universal human recognition that debts and favors can erode personal bonds.
Psychological Undercurrent
The loss of a friend after a loan may stem from guilt, shame, or embarrassment in the debtor, or disappointment in the lender, revealing psychological mechanisms that destabilize relationships when obligations cannot be met.
Rhetorical Devices
Antithesis
Contrasts the act of lending (a gesture of goodwill) with the outcome of loss, creating a striking opposition that intensifies the warning.
Ellipsis
The concise structure omits explicit details ('loses double'—money and friend), inviting the audience to complete the thought and making the message more impactful.
Numerical Emphasis
The use of 'double' quantifies the risk, heightening the sense of caution by stressing the magnitude of potential loss.
Transcription
Quotations
Qui prest a l'ami perd au double.
[As in c1594 Bacon].
*Both friend and money; To which purpose wee haue a certaine (triuiall, but true-meaning) Ryme, which begins with, I lent my money to my friend, and ends with, I lost both money, and my friend.
He that doth lend will lose his freind.
Who lends a friend, is like to lose double, viz. both money and friend.
Who lendeth moneys, loseth two things.
*His Moneys, and his Friend.
He that doth lend will loose his friend.
Lend your Money, and lose your Friend.
A ready Way to lose your Friend, is to lend him Money.
Shakespeare Citations
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Cross References
- See DÜR., II, no. 27.
- L199 He that lends gives.
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
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