No longer foster,¹ no longer FRIEND (leman²)

Meaning & Analysis

When the support or care provided (like that of a foster parent) ends, so too does the friendship or affectionate relationship ('leman' meaning beloved).

Insights

Conditional Affection

The proverb suggests that some friendships or relationships endure only as long as material benefit, care, or support is provided. When the 'fostering' stops, the bond dissolves, revealing its transactional nature.

Self-Interest in Relationships

It highlights the tendency of certain individuals to value relationships not for genuine affection or loyalty, but for the personal gain or nurturing they receive.

Historical Symbolism

The proverb draws on the analogy of the foster-parent relationship, a potent symbol in medieval and early modern culture for dependent bonds. The inclusion of 'leman' (beloved or darling) extends the critique to romantic as well as platonic ties, exposing the fragility of affection based on advantage.

Cultural Resonance

Across societies, similar sayings caution against trusting in relationships sustained only by ongoing benefit. The proverb aligns with folk wisdom skeptical of fair-weather friends or lovers who disappear when support is withdrawn.

Psychological Dimensions

The proverb reveals the disappointment and cynicism that arise when relationships, seemingly based on affection, prove to be driven by self-interest. It warns of the impermanence and instability of bonds not rooted in mutual care.

Rhetorical Devices

Parallelism

The mirrored structure ('No longer foster, no longer friend') gives the proverb a rhythmic balance and emphasizes causality.

Ellipsis

The omission of explicit actors or motives invites the listener to fill in the meaning, making the message broadly applicable.

Archaic Diction

The use of 'foster' and 'leman' imparts a literary and historical flavor, linking the proverb to earlier cultural contexts.

friendshipaffectionself-interestconditionalsupportloyalty
Analyzed with gpt-4.1 on July 12, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

(lemman)

1546, HEY., II ix, s. L2
1639, CL., s.v. Paupertas, p. 244
1670, RAY, p. 94
1672, WALK., 90, p. 25
1681, ROB., p. 638
1687, MIEGE, s.v. Foster
1732, FUL., no. 3589

Annotations

  1. fostering (i.e., as a foster parent)
  2. darling, beloved one

Original Scan

No longer foster,¹ no longer FRIEND (leman²) - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

© 2026 TilleyProverbs.com · About

Last updated: January 27, 2026