Meaning & Analysis
People show affection to a child not out of genuine love for the child itself, but in order to win the favor or approval of the child's influential nurse or caregiver.
Insights
Ulterior Motives
The proverb illustrates how affection or kindness can be used strategically as a tool to influence or gain favor with someone else. The 'child' represents a proxy or intermediary, and the 'kiss' is a calculated gesture aimed at the true target, the 'nurse.'
Indirect Influence
It highlights a common social strategy: influencing a powerful or desired individual by showing favor to their associates, subordinates, or dependents. The affection is a form of social currency used to navigate hierarchies and gain access.
Social Deception
The act of kissing the child symbolizes a broader pattern of social insincerity, where outward displays of kindness mask hidden agendas. It serves as a warning to be skeptical of flattery directed at those close to you, as it may be aimed at you.
Transferred Affection
In a less cynical interpretation, the proverb can suggest that positive feelings for one person (the nurse) are so strong that they are genuinely transferred to people or things associated with them (the child). The child is valued as an extension of the beloved nurse.
Household Social Dynamics
The proverb reflects the complex social hierarchies within historical households, where a nurse or governess could be a key gatekeeper. Courtiers, suitors, or other staff might curry favor with the nurse to gain access to or influence with the family she serves, making the 'kiss' a calculated political act.
Psychology of Ingratiation
Psychologically, the proverb demonstrates the principle of ingratiation through association. It reveals a sophisticated, if cynical, understanding of human nature: that people are susceptible to flattery and kindness, even when it is delivered indirectly to those they care about.
A Proverb for the Ambitious
This saying serves as a timeless piece of cynical wisdom for social climbers and political operators. As seen in Shakespeare and other period literature, it functions as both a manual for manipulation and a warning to the powerful to be wary of those who flatter their dependents.
Rhetorical Devices
Symbolism
The 'child' symbolizes an accessible, secondary target, while the 'nurse' represents the true object of interest or power. The 'kiss' is a potent symbol for any act of flattery or favor.
Situational Irony
The proverb is built on situational irony, where the apparent act of selfless affection for a child is revealed to be a self-serving maneuver, creating a cynical and worldly tone.
Synecdoche
The specific, intimate act of 'kissing the child' stands for a much broader category of manipulative social behaviors, making an abstract concept of indirect influence concrete and memorable.
Transcription
Quotations
Ofte me kessyt the chil for . . .
(She kist the childe for).
(Belike he loves the childe for).
For lov of the nurice mony kisses the bairne.
(Some kisse).
Love the child for the nurses sake.
Some will kiss the child for the nurse’s sake, and like the present for the hand that brings it.
For the mothers sake, kiss the son.
[As in a1598 Ferg.].
For love of the nurse the bairn gets mony a cuss.
Many one kisses the Bairn for Love of the Nurrish.
Shakespeare Citations
And that I love the tree from whence thou sprang’st Witness the loving kiss I give the fruit.
Cross References
Annotations
- That is, shews their Kindness to the Companions, Friends, or Relations, of the person upon whom they have a Design, which they hope by their Influence to effect.
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.