He that cockers his CHILD provides for his enemy

Meaning & Analysis

To pamper or spoil one's child will result in creating a person who will act against the parent's interests in the future, effectively becoming an adversary to them.

Insights

Good Intentions, Bad Outcomes

The proverb serves as a metaphor for the ironic and destructive outcomes of good intentions. The act of 'cockering' or coddling, intended as kindness, corrupts the recipient and ultimately harms the giver.

Cultivating Future Sorrow

The 'enemy' symbolizes the future sorrow, conflict, and hardship that a parent creates for themselves by failing to instill discipline and respect in their child. The adversity is self-inflicted.

The Enemy Within

It illustrates how the greatest threats can be nurtured from within. By neglecting proper guidance, a parent transforms a source of potential love and support into an internal source of conflict and betrayal.

Historical Parenting Philosophy

Rooted in ancient wisdom literature, as shown by the citation from Sirach, this proverb reflects a traditional, authoritarian view of child-rearing where discipline is paramount to character development, a perspective often at odds with modern pedagogical theories.

Psychological Consequences

The proverb offers a sharp psychological insight into the dangers of over-indulgence. By failing to set boundaries, a parent may inadvertently foster entitlement and narcissism, creating a person who lacks empathy and views the parent as an obstacle rather than a source of love and authority.

Literary and Archetypal Resonance

The transformation of a 'child' into an 'enemy' is a powerful literary device that resonates with tragic archetypes, such as Shakespeare's King Lear, whose preferential treatment of his daughters leads directly to his downfall, highlighting that misplaced affection can be a source of ruin.

Rhetorical Devices

Metaphor

The proverb uses the powerful metaphor of the 'enemy' to represent the spoiled child, transforming a familial relationship into one of conflict and opposition to underscore the severity of the outcome.

Irony

There is a strong situational irony in the idea that providing care and indulgence ('cockering') for a child results in the creation of an adversary, subverting the expected outcome of parental love.

Hyperbole

Calling the child an 'enemy' is a form of hyperbole that dramatically exaggerates the potential for future conflict, making the warning more memorable and impactful.

Causal Structure

The structure 'He that... provides for...' establishes a clear, almost legalistic cause-and-effect relationship, framing parental indulgence not as a simple mistake but as a direct cause of future strife.

parentingdisciplineindulgenceconsequencesironyfamily
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on July 22, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1640, HERB., no. 784
1658, EDMONDSON, Comes Fac. in Via, p. 236
1659, N.R., p. 59

Bible Citations

Cocker thy child, and he shall make thee afraid.

— The Bible, Sir xxx:9

Original Scan

He that cockers his CHILD provides for his enemy - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026