Meaning & Analysis
Literally, it suggests a man who marries a widow will be served a meal containing a human skull, an unsettling and macabre image intended to be figurative rather than literal.
Insights
The Lingering Past
The 'dead man's head' symbolizes the inescapable memory of the deceased first husband. The new husband is constantly reminded of his predecessor, whose presence lingers in the marriage.
Constant Comparison
The proverb warns that the widow will frequently make unfavorable comparisons between her new husband and her deceased one, making the second husband feel inadequate.
Psychological Intrusion
The 'dish' represents the domestic space and the marriage itself. The skull being 'thrown' in it implies that the memory of the past is an unwelcome, disruptive, and confrontational intrusion into the new relationship.
Inheritance of Grief
Marrying a widow means inheriting her grief, her history, and her established ways of life, which can be a difficult burden for the new partner to bear.
Symbolic Inversion
The 'death's-head' (memento mori) was a potent Renaissance symbol reminding viewers of mortality. Here, it's cleverly inverted to symbolize the inescapable memory of the deceased, turning a universal reminder of death into a specific psychological burden for the second husband.
Psychological Insecurity
The proverb reveals a deep-seated patriarchal anxiety about succeeding a predecessor in marriage. It frames the new husband as a victim of constant, unfavorable comparison, suggesting his identity and authority are perpetually undermined by the idealized memory of the 'original'.
Literary and Theatrical Resonance
The grotesque, almost theatrical imagery of a skull being served for dinner is reminiscent of Jacobean revenge tragedies (as noted in the Marston quotation). This dramatic flair makes the psychological point in a visceral, unforgettable way.
Inherited Burdens
Beyond the psychological, the proverb hints at the tangible social and economic complexities of marrying a widow, who brought her own history, established household, and potentially children loyal to their father's memory—all 'served' to the new husband.
Rhetorical Devices
Metaphor
The central metaphor of the 'dead man's head' powerfully represents the persistent and unsettling memory of the deceased husband.
Grotesque Imagery
The image of a skull served in a dish is deliberately shocking and macabre, creating a visceral sense of the new husband's discomfort and resentment.
Hyperbole
The proverb exaggerates the frequency and intensity of the reminders of the past to emphasize the profound psychological weight placed on the new husband.
Symbolism
The 'dish' symbolizes the domestic intimacy of the marriage, making the intrusion of the 'death's-head' a violation of that private space.
Transcription
Quotations
I haue sure a dead mans head in my dyshe.
As bold-faced women, when they wed another, Banquet their husbands with their dead loves' heads.
Who marrieth a widdow hath a deaths head often in his dish.
You must also be wary how you marry . . a Widdow, for so you will be subject to hav a Deaths head putt often in your Dish.
He that Marries a Widow has often a Death's-head thrown in his Dish.
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
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