I am not sorry that my SON loses at play but that he will have a revenge

Meaning & Analysis

A father is not upset that his son loses money while gambling, but he is deeply concerned by the son's determination to win back his losses, as this reveals a compulsive and destructive nature.

Insights

The Cycle of Addiction

The proverb illustrates the nature of addiction, where the initial act is less significant than the compulsive behavior that follows. The 'revenge' symbolizes the addict's desperate and irrational attempts to repeat the act to fix the problem it created.

Escalation of Failure

Metaphorically, it warns against the danger of escalating commitment to a failing course of action. Refusing to accept a small defeat and insisting on 'revenge' often leads to a much greater and more catastrophic failure.

Judgment vs. Character

It distinguishes between a simple error in judgment (losing) and a fundamental flaw in character (the obstinate refusal to quit). The latter is far more predictive of long-term ruin.

Psychology of Addiction

This proverb astutely captures the psychological core of gambling addiction. The danger lies not in the initial loss but in the compulsive need to 'chase' losses—an irrational cycle where each subsequent bet is intended to recoup the last, leading to escalating debt and ruin.

Parental Wisdom

From a parental perspective, the proverb distinguishes between a forgivable mistake (losing at a game) and a damning character flaw (the inability to accept defeat and walk away). The father's sorrow is for his son's developing obsession, not the financial cost of a single loss.

Sunk Cost Fallacy

The son's desire for 'revenge' is a classic illustration of the sunk cost fallacy. He is driven to invest more resources into a losing endeavor because of what he has already lost, failing to recognize that the rational choice is to cut his losses.

Pattern over Event

The proverb serves as a timeless warning about the difference between an event and a pattern. A single loss is a manageable event, but the desire to win it back reveals a destructive, habitual pattern of behavior that is far more dangerous.

Rhetorical Devices

Antithesis

The proverb creates a sharp contrast between the expected parental reaction (sadness at a loss) and the actual source of sorrow (the son's compulsion), effectively highlighting the true danger.

Paradox

There is a paradoxical quality to a parent being untroubled by their son's loss. This initial surprise engages the listener and forces them to contemplate the deeper, more profound wisdom being offered.

Foreshadowing

The son's desire for revenge serves as a powerful foreshadowing of his inevitable ruin, encapsulating the predictable trajectory of a compulsive gambler.

addictiongamblingcompulsionescalationpsychologyprudence
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on November 29, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

It greues me not that my sonne is a gamester, but that he will goe to quit himselfe.

1599, MINSHEU, Span. Dial., p. 25

*”Tis meant of those that are habituated to gaming, and obstinate.

1659, HOW., Span. Prov., p. 29

(will seek his Re-venge).

1732, FUL., no. 2585

Original Scan

I am not sorry that my SON loses at play but that he will have a revenge - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026