To give one the GO-BY

Meaning & Analysis

To deliberately ignore, bypass, or abandon someone, especially one to whom a commitment or debt is owed. The act is intentional and dismissive, as in jilting a lover or evading a creditor.

Insights

Evasion of Responsibility

The phrase metaphorically represents the act of deliberately evading any kind of responsibility, promise, or difficult situation. It signifies a conscious choice to sidestep an obligation rather than confront it directly.

Betrayal of Trust

It symbolizes the betrayal of trust within a relationship or agreement. By 'giving the go-by', one party unilaterally breaks a bond or promise, leaving the other abandoned and unacknowledged.

Social Rejection

The act serves as a metaphor for social ostracism or a deliberate snub. It captures the specific social maneuver of pointedly ignoring someone to signal their diminished status or to cut them off without confrontation.

Historical Social Contracts

The proverb's grounding in the 17th century, with examples of romantic jilting and debt evasion, reveals its roots in fundamental breaches of social and economic contracts. It underscores that deliberate avoidance was seen as a profound violation of trust.

Kinesthetic Metaphor

The phrase uses the physical act of 'going by' someone as a powerful metaphor for social or emotional rejection. This kinesthetic imagery makes the abstract concept of a snub feel concrete and visceral, enhancing its emotional weight.

Psychology of Invisibility

Being given 'the go-by' is psychologically more than a simple refusal; it is an act of erasure. The deliberate avoidance denies the subject's significance, making the passive act of ignoring them a potent and insulting form of social rejection.

Rhetorical Devices

Idiom

The phrase is a classic idiom, where the collective meaning (to snub or abandon) is not deducible from the individual words, making it a culturally specific piece of linguistic shorthand.

Visual Metaphor

It employs the powerful imagery of physical movement—literally walking past someone—to describe a complex social and emotional act of rejection, making the concept instantly understandable.

Conciseness

The phrase's short, active, and slightly informal structure makes it a punchy and memorable expression for a common social slight.

rejectionavoidancebetrayalidiomevasionrelationships
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on July 14, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

For a Lass to marry another, and not her true Lover, or Sweet-heart, to give him the go-by.

1666, TOR, Prov. Phr., s.v. Gambata, p. 70

To withdraw from ones Creditors, and get out of sight by the nearest cut possible, to give one the go-by.

Ibid., s.v. Scortatora, p. 186
1678, RAY, p. 347

Original Scan

To give one the GO-BY - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026