Throw no GIFT again at the giver's head

Meaning & Analysis

Do not physically hurl a present back at the person who has offered it; it is a direct and aggressive act of rejection.

Insights

Warning Against Ingratitude

The proverb serves as a strong admonition against ingratitude. Rejecting a kindness, opportunity, or favor in a scornful and offensive manner is a grave social offense that will likely cause irreparable harm to a relationship.

The Importance of Social Grace

It advises on the importance of social grace and diplomacy. Even if a gift or offer is unwanted, it should be refused politely. To reject it hostilely is to 'burn bridges' and turn a neutral or positive interaction into a lasting conflict.

Rejecting Opportunity or Reconciliation

The 'gift' can symbolize any form of offering, such as an apology, advice, or an opportunity. The proverb cautions against pridefully or angrily dismissing such offerings without consideration, as doing so can be self-destructive.

Violation of Social Contract

The proverb underscores the principle of reciprocity and social obligation inherent in gift-giving. To violently reject a gift is to break a fundamental social contract, signaling a deep personal or political rupture far more significant than the gift itself.

Psychology of Rejection

Psychologically, the act of 'throwing a gift back' reveals more about the recipient's state of mind—such as pride, suspicion, or a feeling of being patronized—than about the gift itself. It's a dramatic gesture of severing ties and refusing to be indebted.

The Gift as Power Play

While the proverb cautions the recipient, it also implicitly warns the giver. A gift can be a tool of power, creating obligation or asserting dominance. An aggressive rejection might be a response to a perceived 'gift' that is actually a veiled insult or a burden.

Rhetorical Devices

Hyperbolic Imagery

The phrase employs powerful, violent imagery ('throw at the giver's head') to create a memorable and visceral picture of extreme ingratitude, elevating a social faux pas to the level of a physical assault.

Imperative Mood

The proverb is structured as a negative imperative ('Throw no...'), giving it the force of a direct command or moral law. This authoritative tone makes the advice feel urgent and non-negotiable.

Metaphor

The 'gift' functions as a metaphor for any positive offering—be it material, emotional, or social. The act of 'throwing it back' becomes a potent symbol for any form of scornful rejection.

gratituderejectionsocial-etiquetteconflictgenerosityingratitude
Analyzed with gemini-2.5-pro on July 14, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

1546, HEY., I xi, s. D4v.
1562, HEY., Epig., 58, p. 135.

Throw no guift at the giuer againe.

1611, DAV., Prov., no. 104

A man must not throw a gift at the giuers head.

1616, DR., no. 868

Original Scan

Throw no GIFT again at the giver's head - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026