Meaning & Analysis
A man only experiences two happy days in relation to his wife: the day he marries her and the day she dies. The entire period of the marriage between these two events is implied to be one of misery and sadness.
Insights
Cynicism about Marriage
The proverb serves as a cynical commentary on the institution of marriage itself, portraying it not as a partnership but as a long-term hardship for the husband. The initial joy of the wedding is presented as a fleeting illusion that gives way to a life of burdensome obligation.
Economic View of a Wife
It frames the wife as an economic entity rather than a partner. Her value is reduced to the assets she brings at the beginning (dowry) and the freedom and wealth her death provides at the end. The 'good days' are transactional milestones, not moments of shared happiness.
Fear of Domesticity
The saying encapsulates a deep-seated fear of domestic life and female influence. It portrays the home not as a sanctuary, but as a place of 'lingring sadnesse' from which the husband is only liberated by his wife's death.
Historical Misogyny
This proverb is a stark artifact of historical misogyny, reflecting a patriarchal worldview where a wife was often seen as a necessary burden or an economic commodity. Its prevalence in 16th and 17th-century literature indicates it was a piece of cynical folk wisdom, reinforcing a social narrative that framed marriage as a trap for men.
Psychological Projection
From a psychological perspective, the proverb functions as a projection of marital dissatisfaction onto the wife. It externalizes blame for any unhappiness, ignoring the complexities of a relationship and the husband's own role, offering a simplistic and hostile explanation for domestic discontent.
Economic Underpinnings
The proverb's structure points to the economic realities of marriage in earlier eras. The two 'good days' align with key financial transactions: the wedding day often involved the acquisition of a dowry, and the death day could mean the husband inherits his wife's property, freeing him from the expense of her upkeep. The cross-reference to the death of wives making men rich underscores this brutal economic perspective.
Rhetorical Devices
Hyperbole
The claim that only two days of a marriage are good is an extreme exaggeration used to express profound cynicism and create a shocking, memorable statement.
Dark Humor
The proverb employs grim, macabre humor by classifying a spouse's death as a 'good day'. This dark irony is intended to be provocative and express the depth of the supposed marital misery.
Antithesis
It creates a stark juxtaposition between life's beginning and end (marriage and death), framing the entire intervening period as a void of happiness. This contrast emphasizes the pessimistic theme.
Parallelism
The balanced structure of 'her wedding day and death day' creates a rhythmic, memorable, and rhetorically powerful phrase, making the cynical wisdom easy to repeat and recall.
Transcription
Quotations
With a wyfe are two dayes of pleasure The first is the ioye of the Maryage daye and nyght The seconde to be at the wyfes Sepulture.
Although all women kinde be nought, yet two good dayes hath she: Her marriage day, and day of death, when all she leaues to thee.
It is an olde saying, that the wife bringes but two merrie daies to her husband, the one when she is married, the other when she is buried.
Dost not yet know the old saying,—a wife brings but two good days, that is her wedding-day, and death-day?
A married man (some say) has two dayes gladnesse, And all his life else, is a lingring sadnesse: The one dayes mirth is, when he first is married, Th’ other’s, when his wife’s to burying carried.
A husband hath but two happy daies, the one when he brings his wife home, the other when she goes out.
Meant, that she goes to be buried.
Cross References
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.