Who marries for LOVE without money has good nights and sorry days

Meaning & Analysis

A marriage based solely on love, without financial resources, brings pleasure and happiness at night (in intimacy or affection), but leads to hardship, worry, or regret during the day (in practical affairs).

Insights

Romance Versus Reality

The proverb juxtaposes the pleasures of romantic passion with the difficulties of daily life, warning that love alone is insufficient for enduring happiness when unaccompanied by material means.

Duality of Human Experience

It captures the dual nature of relationships: emotional or physical satisfaction can coexist with practical suffering, suggesting that successful marriage requires both affection and security.

Caution Against Idealism

The saying serves as a caution against entering into marriage on feeling alone, advocating for a balance between emotion and prudence.

Historical and Social Context

The proverb reflects early modern anxieties about marriage, echoing a long tradition of folk wisdom that views matrimony as both an economic and emotional contract. Similar proverbs appear in Italian and Spanish collections, revealing the universality of the sentiment.

Gender and Power Dynamics

In societies where financial security was crucial to stability—especially for women—the saying warns of the dangers of poverty in marriage, linking material lack to daytime ‘sorrow’ and domestic stress.

Psychological and Practical Reflection

Modern research confirms the strain that financial hardship puts on relationships, often transforming initial passion into daily frustration or conflict. The proverb remains relevant as a reminder of the interplay between love and livelihood.

Comparison With Related Proverbs

Companion sayings—‘Love will cool 'twixt a pair of sheets if there be not wherewithal to keep them warm,’ and ‘More belongs to marriage than four bare legs in a bed’—underscore the need for practical foresight alongside romance.

Rhetorical Devices

Antithesis

The stark opposition between ‘good nights’ and ‘sorry days’ dramatizes the proverb’s message, contrasting pleasure with hardship for rhetorical impact.

Parallelism

The balanced phrasing (‘good nights and sorry days’) gives the proverb a rhythmic, memorable quality.

Euphemism

‘Good nights’ and ‘sorry days’ serve as gentle euphemisms for intimacy and hardship, respectively, allowing the proverb to express its wisdom indirectly.

lovemarriagemoneypracticalityromancerealism
Analyzed with gpt-4o on July 10, 2025

Transcription

Quotations

Fy on Loue without Mony!

1623, WOD., p. 486

Who marrieth for love hath pleasant nights, but sorrowfull dayes.

1659, HOW., It. Prov., p. 6

Who marries for love hath good nights, but sorry dayes.

1659, HOW., Span. Prov., p. 17

Who marrieth for love, and no money, hath good nights, but sorry dayes.

1664, COD., p. 226

He who marries for love, in the night-time hath pleasure, in the day-time sorrow.

1666, TOR., It. Prov., 3, p. 10

*Ital. Hispan.

1670, RAY, p. 17

(He who).

1705, PLEAS., Art, p. 153

(hath merry Nights and sorry Days).

1732, FUL., no. 5710

Cross References

Original Scan

Who marries for LOVE without money has good nights and sorry days - a scanned entry from Tilley's 1950 Dictionary of Proverbs.
Scan courtesy of HathiTrust Digital Library.
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.

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Last updated: January 27, 2026