Meaning & Analysis
A cynical observation that a wife's mood will invariably be the opposite of her husband's; if he is grieving, she will be cheerful, and if he is happy, she will be sullen.
Insights
The Spirit of Contradiction
The proverb characterizes the female nature as inherently oppositional or perverse. It suggests that the wife defines her agency solely through resistance to the husband's emotional state, rather than through autonomy.
The Anti-Mirror
Ideally, marriage was seen as a union where the wife 'mirrored' the husband. This proverb illustrates the 'anti-mirror,' where the reflection is inverted, symbolizing a fundamental fracture in the marital identity and a rejection of the husband's leadership.
Emotional Sabotage
It signifies a form of domestic warfare where withholding empathy is used as a weapon. By refusing to validate the partner's feelings, the spouse denies them comfort or shared joy, isolating them within their own home.
The Renaissance Ideal vs. Reality
Renaissance conduct books (like those by Vives or Erasmus) instructed wives to be a 'mirror' to their husbands—laughing when he laughed and weeping when he wept—to show perfect submission. This proverb functions as a cynical realist's rebuttal to that ideal, asserting that in practice, women are naturally contrary.
Strategic Manipulation
The Shakespeare citation (misattributed in the source to 'Much Ado', but textually from 'Antony and Cleopatra', I.iii) reveals a psychological strategy: 'If you find him sad, Say I am dancing.' Cleopatra uses this emotional contrariness not out of spite, but as a tactical disruption to keep Antony off-balance and obsessed, proving that unpredictability is a form of power.
Diagnostic of Infidelity
John Lyly's explanation ('Euphues', 1580) adds a darker layer: he suggests that if a wife is merry when the husband is sad, it is 'a manifest signe she delighteth in others.' The emotional mismatch is interpreted not just as annoyance, but as evidence that her heart has already left the marriage.
The 'Shrew' Archetype
The proverb feeds into the literary stock character of the 'shrew' or the 'ungovernable woman.' By framing the wife's reactions as automatically oppositional ('If he go forth, they will tarrie at home'), it pathologizes female independence as mere obstinacy.
Rhetorical Devices
Chiasmus
The structure (Husband sad/merry vs. Wife merry/sad) creates a crisscross pattern (A-B, B-A). This syntactic reversal perfectly mimics the emotional reversal and opposition being described.
Juxtaposition
Placing 'sad' and 'merry' in immediate proximity emphasizes the jarring emotional dissonance of the household. There is no middle ground, only extremes.
Predictive absolute
The use of 'will be' (rather than 'might be') frames this behavior as an inevitable law of nature, reinforcing the misogynistic belief that contrariness is an innate biological trait of women.
Transcription
Quotations
For one madde propretie these women have in fey, When ye will, they will not: Will not ye, then will they.
Naturally women haue in all things the spirite of contradiction, for so much as if the Husbands will speake, they will holde their peace.
If he go forth, they will tarrie at home. If he will laugh, they will weepe. If hee will take pleasure they will vexe him.
Gentlewomen .. you should die to your-selves and live to your husbands .. if they smile, that you laugh.
For if when thou laughest she weepe, when thou mournest she gigle, the one is a manifest signe she delighteth in others, the other a token she dispiseth thee.
That woman is a foole who seing her husbande merry, pouteth or loureth, or seing him pensive sheweth her selfe pleasaunte.
Women will bee vntoward, let their husbands doe what they can.
Shakespeare Citations
I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are dispos'd to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou art inclin'd to sleep.
If you find him sad, Say I am dancing; if in mirth, report That I am sudden sick.
Cross References
Related Proverbs
Original Scan
Used under CC BY-NC 3.0.